


Before the Light Fades

by CrystalEyesAndBowties



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anorexia, Eating Disorders, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 13:22:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16138130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalEyesAndBowties/pseuds/CrystalEyesAndBowties
Summary: While at McKinley, Kurt developed some dangerous habits to cope with all the bullying. Now he's at Dalton and Blaine is his boyfriend. He should be happy. So why does he feel like he's falling? Blaine notices as his boyfriend slowly starts to spiral down a dark hole of pain and self hatred. Will he be able to save Kurt before it's too late? Or will he have to watch as the light slowly fades from Kurt's eyes? TW for eating disorders.





	Before the Light Fades

     He couldn't tell you exactly how he got to this point. It was probably a build up of a lot of things.  
   
 Coach Sylvester commenting on his 'pear hips'.

   Trying to eat healthier after his dad's heart attack.

   Be in driven out of his school by a bully who sexually assaulted him and then threatened his life.

     Yeah. It was definitely a build up of things. 

     Somewhere along the line the stress became too much for him. He felt like the walls were closing in around him and he couldn't breathe. Everyday was a war for him. A war he was dreadfully unprepared to fight. He could feel any and all control he had slipping through his finger tips. And if there was one thing Kurt Hummel valued in his life, it was control.

     That was the reason he started this. He couldn't control his dad's health. He couldn't control Karofsky or the bullying. Hell, half the time he couldn't even trust the New Directions, and they claimed to be his best friends. 

     But what he could control was his food.

     He could count exactly how many calories he was putting into his body. How much sugar and carbohydrates he ate. He controlled how much he weighed, and that was control no one could take away from him. 

     He felt an odd sense of peace and relief wash over him as he watched the number on the scale go down, and although he wouldn't admit it, a horrible feeling of dread and panic if it went up.  
   
   But he always took a deep breath and reminded himself that it was okay. He was in control. He just had to restrict extra today. That's what he told himself this morning as he looked down at the scale.   
     He normally lived off of salad, green apples, and rice cakes, but Blaine had wanted to have a movie night and showed up at Kurt's dorm room with a large cheese pizza. Kurt's initial instinct was to refuse, but he knew that would only worry his boyfriend. So he plastered on a smile and accepted a slice of the grease covered pizza. Just one slice. Just one measly, little slice.

   It was still too much.

   Kurt felt it sit heavily in his stomach as he cuddled with Blaine on the couch that night, his head resting in Blaine's lap. He didn't want Blaine to feel his bulging stomach or touch his wide, girly hips by snuggling up against him. Luckily Blaine seemed content playing with Kurt's hair while watching the movie.

     Kurt sighed as he looked down at his scale, the numbers seeming to blink up at him angrily. He would have to figure out a way to refuse food around Blaine without worrying him. These were the thoughts swirling through his head as he wrote the numbers 120.8 and the date down in his journal. He had been 120.4 the previous morning. It was okay though. He simply couldn't have a repeat of the night before.

     He heard a soft knocking on the door and smiled to himself as he quickly shoved his journal in his desk drawer and went to answer it. Standing in the doorway was his precious boyfriend, signature smile in place and two cups of coffee in hand.

   "Hey you!" Blaine said cheerfully as he leaned in and gave Kurt a peck on the lips.

     "Good morning." Kurt replied sleepily, trying and failing to fight back his blush. 

     "You ready to head to breakfast?" Blaine asked, ready to scarf down some bacon and french toast.

    "Yep." Kurt said, pulling his messenger bag over his head and taking his black coffee from Blaine.

     "Thank you for this by the way. You're a life saver." Kurt said, taking a sip of the warm, bitter beverage.

   "Don't mention it." Blaine smiled, planting another kiss to Kurt's cheek.

 Kurt intertwined their fingers as they walked down the hallways of Dalton, leaving the dorms behind and heading toward the dining hall. Blaine squeezed his boyfriends hand tight, frowning slightly too him self as he felt how ice cold Kurt's fingers felt beneath his touch.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter! Make sure to review and let me know what you think! The next chapter will focus more on Blaine as he starts to notice Kurt struggling. Also I promise the later chapters will be longer, this chapter was more of an intro to set up the story.


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